Come full circle…
For those of you with an impish bent of mind (in which case we definitely ought to get better acquainted), do use some of the following words when spelling your name out to a helpful customer service representative over the phone.
Doing this even with the best possible call quality will still cause considerable dismay to the note taker on the other side and will cheer you up instantly. I can guarantee it because I gave it a go last week and it worked like a charm.
With a first and last name like mine, this activity is particularly therapeutic.
Customer Service: Can I please get your e-mail address sir?
Me: It is my last name dot first name at gmail dot com.
Customer Service: I am sorry sir but due to our security protocol I must ask you to spell it out for me entirely.
Me: Didn’t you say that you had my account details pulled up in front of you? Isn’t my full name on display for you?
Customer Service: Yes sir.
Me: Well then?
Customer Service: Our security protocol requires…
He asked for it.
Do bear in mind at this point that this customer service representative actually believes someone could pretend to be me on the phone with him.
Knowing my first & last name, who could possibly have the daring to even attempt such a thing (even if money was involved; which it wasn’t in this instance)?
Me: OK my friend. Are you ready?
Customer Service: Yes sir.
Me: S-U-B-R-A-H-M-A-N-I-A-M dot G-A-N-A-P-A-T-H-Y at gmail dot com
Customer Service: S-U-…is that V for Vendetta?
Me: (I had actually heard that one before) No, B for Bonhomie.
Customer Service: Er…OK. …-R-A-H-…is that M for Matthew or N for Nancy?
Me: That’s correct.
Customer Service: I am sorry sir but…
Me: The 7th & 12th letter in my last name is M for Mnemonic & the 9th letter in my last name is N for Nottinghamshire.
Customer Service: Er…OK. In your first name, is that N for Nancy or M for Matthew?
Me: The 4th letter of my first name is N for Nausea.
Customer Service: Er…OK. Then is that B for Boy?
Me: You mean the 5th letter of my first name? That’s P for Pneumonia.
Customer Service: I meant the 7th letter of your first name sir.
Me: Oh that one? It is T for Tsunami.
Customer Service: Er…OK. Is the last letter of your first name Y or I?
Me: It is Y for Yacht.
Customer Service: So it is your last name dot first name at gmail dot com…
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